Off to the races
by harleyjquinnk
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. DC comics does. What happens when Harley Quinn breaks up with the Joker and moves in with Poison Ivy. Will all go well or will she go running right back to him?
1. Hanging by the heart

Disclaimer: I do not own Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, The Joker or Gotham City. I just wrote a story. - that stuff is DC comics stuff. This is a fanfiction about Harley's happenings based on a song.

** Harley Quinn walked down the busy sidewalks of Gotham City wearing short red shorts and a white half shirt. Her head sunk down and her tears were hidden by the rain. Her pigtails lay in soggy lumps on her shoulders. I dumped him this time. Harley reminded herself. She reached a small greenhouse and lightly knocked on the door. Poison Ivy, Harley's best friend, opened the door. "Harley?" Ivy said in surprise. The blonde girl with black streaks of mascara dripping down her face looked up at her friend. "What happened to you. Wait, no, let me guess, the clown threw you out right?" Ivy asked already knowing the response. "Hiya Red. Actually I dumped him this time." Harley said glumly. Ivy grabbed Harley's arm and tugged her inside the house. "Your room is just the way you left it and you should go take a nice hot shower and dry off okay Harles." Ivy suggested. "I'm not going back to him Red. For reals this time." Harley promised as she walked over to the bathroom.**

** When Harley dried off she put on a pair of pink winter pajamas. She walked into her room and turned on the TV. While she was laying on her bed she started thinking. What if he calls me? I won't answer it! Harley then thought about previous times with the Joker. Good times. Like that one day in the park. He was holding her hand. Something he didn't often do in public. The Joker grabbed Harley knowing she wouldn't be frightened and leave him. It was like he owned her. He almost did. He had her heart in his hands. He liked that she hadn't been to any place except Gotham so they didn't travel around a lot. Most of all he was relieved that she had never been to las vegas. For some reason he hated that place and couldn't stand the thought of his Harley being there. Some could say he loved her. But even he was unsure. Harley snapped back into reality. Some time while she was thinking she must've sleep though because it was now noon the next day and it was a beautiful day.**

** Harley stood up and peered out the window. She saw Ivy in a dark green swimsuit eating cucumbers in the pool outside. The pool was glimmering a brilliant blue. Harley found her white bikini and slipped it on. She fixed her yellow blonde hair into pigtails. She looked in the mirror and her red nail polish on her feet and hands stood out the most. She took a barbie towel and walked outside and dropped the towel on a chair. "Mind if I join you Red?" Harley asked not caring if the answer was yes or no, Harley was coming in anyway. She dipped her foot in the deep end then gave up getting slowly and dove in. When Harley resurfaced she rubbed her eyes and swam over to Ivy. Harley grabbed a handful of cucumbers and took them under water with her. She ate two under water while getting pool rings that she had played with last time she was her and then she ate the rest while treading water. She grabbed on to the wall because she was getting tired and watched the bright blue ripples that she provided just by being there.**


	2. Chasing all over town

**Harley sat on the floor colouring in the disney princesses. Her thoughts were somewhere far away though. She thought about the Joker. He was the light of her life. The one that made her heart feel all warm and tickley. To Ivy it was like the Joker would say to Harley be a good baby do what I want. And Harley would obey. To Harley she was helping him and he would help her. Keep her safe from anything but him. But the thing is, the Joker is abusive to Harley in every way. She's just now getting to the point wheres she is realizing that. Harley stood up. Her life was like a race. Right now 'Leave Him' was winning but 'Love Him' was catching up. Harley walked over to the wine cabinet and poured a glass of red wine.**

It was about two hours and 4 glasses of wine later that she decided to go see the Joker. It was about 10:30 and Ivy was in the garden again and wouldn't notice Harley was gone. Harley slipped out the door. At some point she put on her jester costume. She ran through the streets on the gorgeous night. Finally she reached a condemned joke store. There were 3 locks on the door but Harley pushed on the door and it opened with ease. The Joker stood in the middle of the room in full costume too but his phone was in his hand. "Harley! I have been calling you for hours. Where have you been?" He demanded. Harley just smiled and twirled around. "Hi Puddin'! Miss me much?" Harley smirked. The Joker growled. "Stay here Harles and don't leave me like that again!" He said harshly but with a hint of kindness. "Fine by me Mistah J!" She walked closer. "But first" She leaned in and whispered in his ear. "You have to catch me." Harley's breath smelled of alcohol. A silent click that was barely audible was heard. The Joker looked at his hands. Harley ran off as fast as she could. She had handcuffed the Joker. All by herself. And now she was going to run. She was now playing ultimate tag in Gotham City.

The Joker quickly undid the handcuffs, as he had done this many times before. Harley must've known this because all she wanted was a head start. Harley skipped around town. Every so often she would stop and hide and watch the Joker pass by her. Then Harley stopped and let the Joker catch her. "I'm crazy." She said. The Joker looked puzzled. "I know. We all are. You bring this up now why?" Harley's eyes met his. "I'm crazy for letting you go. I need you to come and save my heart. I think I shattered it." She said. "How about when you're not drunk." He swung her into a cradle position and carried her to Ivy's house. When they got there. She was asleep. The Joker knocked on the door and Ivy answered. Her tinted green face suddenly turned tomato red. "Wow Pammy I knew you could do green but wow look at that red!" The Joker teased. "What did you do to her?" Ivy demanded. "Hold your cantaloupes, she came to MY house, handcuffed ME, and told me to chase her. When I finally caught up she said she wanted me back but she's drunk so I took her here and now she's sleeping so quiet down!" the Joker explained.


	3. He's as Sweet as Jam

**Harley sat in Ivy's garden alone planting the red roses she had picked out earlier. She was still unable to remember what happened last night. All she knew was she had gotten into the red wine then blacked out. At least thats what Ivy had told wasn't very bright but she was almost positive that was not what happend. Her only proof was that Ivy was trying to avoid Harley. She only did that when she was mad or wanted to think. Harley started singing while she dug up holes and placed the rose seeds in. "I'm your little scarlet starlet and I'm singing in a garden..." She stopped. What the heck did I just sing? Where did that come from? Harley thought. She soon just brushed it off and labeled it as an stood up and got the pre-filled watering can. As Harley watered the flowers, she could feel Ivy's eyes staring holes through the back of her head. Harley whipped around. "WHAT?!" Harley screamed. Ivy looked startled. "Nothing Harles. Its just you have some dirt in your hair." Ivy said a little shocked at Harley's sudden outburst of rage. Harley ran her fingers through her hair and sure enough, little globs of dirt came out. "Oh. Sorry Red." Harled said guiltily.**

I'm ready for you. Harley said in her head as she thought about the Joker. Sure he was a homicidal raving madman but in a way she was the same. When Batman needed help finding the Joker he turned to her because, the way he put it, its like they share a mind. The Joker and Harley are two of a kind. Every person in Gotham except for Harley thought the Joker was just a murdering psychopath only in it for chaos. He didn't have feelings or anything. Harley knew better. He's tough. Harley thought. But he's got a soul and a heart and everything. Even a sense of humor. He's the package deal! He didn't even care that my life was super boring when I was a doctor at Arkham. Just then Ivy walked in. "Dinner! We're having steamed broccoli and beet juice soup! Mmmm yum!" Ivy sang. Harley jump off the couch and danced into the kitchen. Ivy held out a piece of paper. "You wanna come?" Ivy asked. "To what?" Harley grabbed the invitation and read it.  
All Gotham Villains,  
You are invited to the Gotham Villains dessert party at the Iceberg Cafe. It is tonight. Sorry about the short notice but we wouldn't want the Batman finding out about this. The Cafe is closed to non Underworld regulars. Our Guest list includes: The Joker, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Two-face, Catwoman, The Riddler,Killer Croc and Scarecrow. All others are in Arkham Asylum Prison for the Mentally Insane and we give out our sorrows to those who got caught.  
Yours Truly,  
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot  
Harley nodded and ate her food. When she finished she rushed into her bedroom and took off the white half shirt and booty shorts she was wearing. She fished through her drawers and pulled out a red dress. It went down to just above her knees and was an around the neck tank top. The dress went down to her mid-thigh. She slipped on the dress and ran to the bathroom. Harley took out her makeup bag and emptied out the contents. She applied white theatrical face paint to her skin and rubbed in her black lipstick. She put on black eyeshadow and put on her black domino mask. She pulled her hair back up into their usual pigtails and smiled in the mirror.


End file.
